Posted on 2006.07.26 at 13:41 Current Location:The Green Muse Current Music: Vast--Pretty When You Cry
So I got a new LJ... I'm going to cancel this one. For those of you that what to be on the friends list still, either IM, PM, or email me...or post here.
Posted on 2006.07.19 at 15:42 Current Location:the green muse Current Mood: distressed Current Music: Stars--Your Ex-lover is Dead
sitting at the green muse, listening to old music, nostalgic... getting myself all worked up over nothing...realizing that people I hate are exactly like me... why...why do i do this to myself. I found something online today that I didn't like...and it made me sad. I guess thats what I get for looking where I shouldn't... chain smoking does my depression no good... I know he hates it, but i can't stop..i'm not ready, smoking is my only solace from the rest of the world...from the stupid thoughts in my head. I know what I think and how i feel about myself is stupid, and pointless, but i can't help the way i feel. I give myself excuses to say its ok for me to hate myself... I can't do that, I know...but it makes me feel better to know that if i am being down on myself i can give an excuse why.
Depression is my comfort zone. I find something thats really good, then i pick it apart and focus on the bad stuff, the stuff i know will be a problem in the future...stuff that i know i'm going to do to fuck it up...but in reality my depression is the thing that fucks it up.
I really don't want a response to this i just wanted to get all the shit in my head out. my stupidity...bleh
Posted on 2006.07.11 at 14:57 Current Location:Green Muse Current Music: sirens
I wanted to talk to you, call me when you get a chance please, thank you.
Now, in other news...I went to the strip club yesterday to check out the place for a job. I talked to a waitress there and she basically talked me out of it, b/c of the money. She said they don't make much during the summer, especially if you work days. Which is what I wanted...so off to the job hunt again. Also I was terrible depressed the whole time I was there. ...(grumbles something about being down on myself and not pretty)
At any rate..work sucks. I'm mad b/c yestereday they were talking to me like I was 3 and didn't know how to do my job. I got pissed said some curse words and walked off. I think Jeremy wants to talk to me about my attitude now. Meh, whatever, I don't really care anymore.
So...yes..things are good other than that. My tattoo still itches like crazy but its starting to look good.
Posted on 2006.07.08 at 23:08 Current Location:my bed with a boy Current Mood: something Current Music: silent hill
So stuff....I really don't know what to post about but I just felt like posting. I think I'm going to apply for a job that most people won't like, but I'll make good money at. We'll see...I'm still debating it. Tattoo Boy is awesome as usual...he's so laid back and happy all the time. I need to stop worrying about things and relax...I think he helps with that a lot.
Two people that were friends of mine don't want to talk to me anymore. I think its actually kind of funny, b/c they flipped out over what to me was nothing, but whatever.. If it makes them feel better to not be friends with me then so be it. I have too much other crap to worry about, I don't need to worry about this. If they want to talk to me again then I'll let them come around.
As for other things, I found out that my brother is getting a divorce also. Its kinda of funny that hes getting one at the same time as me. But I'm happy for him...his wife is a crazy bitch. He came over to my parents today, and I got to talk to him for a while. Longer than I have in a while...it was nice..I really miss him. I told him he needs to come and hang out with me. I hope he does.
My tattoo is still sore...and scabby. Umm...I can't really think of what else to say so I'll let you guys say silly things. Ok go now...
Posted on 2006.06.24 at 23:48 Current Location:bed Current Mood: loved Current Music: Talk Show Host--RadioHead
...and I'll say it again. Trilemma is the fucking shit! I love him so much. He's my super hero!!!
The reason this time is b/c he sent me a birthday present in the mail... He sent me an external hard drive for my laptop! Eeeeeeeeeee! I'm so excited....I haven't hooked it up yet, I've been kind of busy with stuffs lately. But I will soon. When I'm not so tired.
Also, I had a big day today. I hung out with Sofia and Tattoo Boy all day today. We played outside with bubbles, it was really cute. I should have taken pictures but I forgot. Then we went to Gatti Town. This pizza place that has lots of fun games. We stuffed ourselves then rode the carousel twice. Then I took Sofia home for a nap time, and Tattoo Boy and I had coffee and talked. It was really nice. Then I got Sofia again and we went to the grocery store and I made dinner for Tattoo Boy and his roommate. Tattoo Boy is really good with Sofia. She was only fussy once today...I'm so proud. Usually if we're out that long she gets really cranky but she was so good. And except for the fact that hes trying to teach her to pick her nose, hes really good with her.
All in all, it was a fun and tiring day. ^_^ I can't wait to have more days like this.
Posted on 2006.06.21 at 13:38 Current Location:Tattoo Boy Current Mood: ZOMG KITTY Current Music: Rasputina~ Our Lies
Tattoo Boy tried to surprise me the other day...but his mom kind of ruined the surprise. But thats ok, b/c it was cute to see him acting all "Shhh, its a secret!!"
So the surprise was that he got me a kitty kitty! =^___^= Yay for kitties! I'm so excited. And since I can't take the kitty to my parents (b/c they don't like cats), and I'm over at Tattoo Boy's place all the time anyway...He said that kitty can stay here. YAY!
So I named the kitty Nazi, pronouced Naz-eee... I got it from that King of the Hill episode, the one where Cotton has a baby and he talks to it in a cutesy baby voice and says, "You wanna kill a Nazzii, a Nazzii sqwazzii sqwazzii...." I love saying that, hehe. Anyway the episode was on when I came to see the kitty and got to name it, so thats what I named him. Nazi! ^__^
At any rate....here are pics of Tattoo Boy, Nazi and me...
Posted on 2006.06.18 at 17:33 Current Location:right here Current Mood: hungrah! Current Music: video game music
I made crepes for Tattoo Boy for his birthday. Actually I made a whole dinner and he says that he loved it, but I have my doubts.
For the entree I made a shrimp pasta, with angel hair. And caramel crepes for dessert. It was yummy but I think it could have been better. I came over to his house today and the first thing him and his roommate asked is if I could make some more. =P I told them I would, but I'm being lazy and on the computer right now.
At any rate, here are pics of us eating wonderful delicious crepes: Enjoy!
Posted on 2006.06.16 at 02:43 Current Location:The Green Muse Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: some band thats playing
Things I got for my birthday...
A really cool necklace with wings: from Leticia. (will post pics later of it)
A togo coffee mug and two lounge cds: from Chris. (verah nice)
Diamond earrings: from my parents. (wtf, I always get soap from them...I was so shocked and thrilled that they actually remembered my birthday)
Dinner at The Hula Hut: with Tattoo Boy. (it was really nice...not really the resteraunt but with tattoo boy, I think I had more fun waiting an hour at the bar just talking with him than the actual meal ^_^)
Afterwards we rented some movies but we only got a chance to watch one. MirrorMask...I really enjoyed it. I think I liked the art work the best...and the music.
My last present I haven't gotten yet but it will be awesome. It's a free tattoo from Tattoo boy. I'm not going to tell you guys what it is yet, I want to post pics of it first. But trust me it will be awesome.
Also, I was woken up but fifty people calling me to tell me happy birthday. That never happens. So I was really excited.
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Eeeeeeee!
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hungrah!
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