Liberated,

PSA

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 18:45:01 GMT

So I got a new LJ...
I'm going to cancel this one.
For those of you that what to be on the friends list still,
either IM, PM, or email me...or post here.

That is all, thank you.

Voice Post:

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 06:59:11 GMT

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 22:15:26 GMT

sitting at the green muse, listening to old music, nostalgic...
getting myself all worked up over nothing...realizing that people I hate are exactly like me...
why...why do i do this to myself.
I found something online today that I didn't like...and it made me sad.
I guess thats what I get for looking where I shouldn't...
chain smoking does my depression no good...
I know he hates it, but i can't stop..i'm not ready, smoking is my only solace from the rest of the world...from the stupid thoughts in my head.
I know what I think and how i feel about myself is stupid, and pointless, but i can't help the way i feel.
I give myself excuses to say its ok for me to hate myself...
I can't do that, I know...but it makes me feel better to know that if i am being down on myself i can give an excuse why.

Depression is my comfort zone.
I find something thats really good, then i pick it apart and focus on the bad stuff, the stuff i know will be a problem in the future...stuff that i know i'm going to do to fuck it up...but in reality my depression is the thing that fucks it up.

I really don't want a response to this i just wanted to get all the shit in my head out.
my stupidity...bleh

ok i'm done...

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 18:20:11 GMT

So guess what.
I love my job so much.
I get to work only 2 days this week.
Yay for not getting paid and busting my ass doing it. -_-

I hate....

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 05:34:20 GMT

Dear Chris...
You're my favorite ever! I'm so proud of you!

Love always,
Melissa ^_^

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 23:05:42 GMT

So the first few days after I left Robert I weighed myself at my parents house.
185.5...bleh

I just weighed myself again since then.
170.5

So I guess I really am losing weight.
I don't feel like I am, but that definitely makes me feel better about myself.
^__^

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 22:17:26 GMT

I need more juice.

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 04:56:22 GMT

meh...

Ahah hahah hahahahhah amewahahwaheheewahwaha ack ack ack

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 16:08:01 GMT

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

And in other news....I am a badass.
No reason in particular, just b/c I am. ^_^

Attn Aformist!

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 20:04:57 GMT

I wanted to talk to you, call me when you get a chance please, thank you.

Now, in other news...I went to the strip club yesterday to check out the place for a job.
I talked to a waitress there and she basically talked me out of it, b/c of the money.
She said they don't make much during the summer, especially if you work days.
Which is what I wanted...so off to the job hunt again.
Also I was terrible depressed the whole time I was there.
...(grumbles something about being down on myself and not pretty)

At any rate..work sucks.
I'm mad b/c yestereday they were talking to me like I was 3 and didn't know how to do my job. I got pissed said some curse words and walked off.
I think Jeremy wants to talk to me about my attitude now.
Meh, whatever, I don't really care anymore.

So...yes..things are good other than that.
My tattoo still itches like crazy but its starting to look good.

And I still madly love Tattoo Boy. ^___^

Tha End.

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 04:26:11 GMT

So stuff....I really don't know what to post about but I just felt like posting.
I think I'm going to apply for a job that most people won't like, but I'll make good money at.
We'll see...I'm still debating it.
Tattoo Boy is awesome as usual...he's so laid back and happy all the time.
I need to stop worrying about things and relax...I think he helps with that a lot.

Two people that were friends of mine don't want to talk to me anymore.
I think its actually kind of funny, b/c they flipped out over what to me was nothing, but whatever..
If it makes them feel better to not be friends with me then so be it.
I have too much other crap to worry about, I don't need to worry about this.
If they want to talk to me again then I'll let them come around.

As for other things, I found out that my brother is getting a divorce also.
Its kinda of funny that hes getting one at the same time as me.
But I'm happy for him...his wife is a crazy bitch.
He came over to my parents today, and I got to talk to him for a while.
Longer than I have in a while...it was nice..I really miss him.
I told him he needs to come and hang out with me.
I hope he does.

My tattoo is still sore...and scabby.
Umm...I can't really think of what else to say so I'll let you guys say silly things.
Ok go now...

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 07:08:54 GMT

Ahaha hahahahhaha hhahewahahawehhahahahah
ahah hhahahhahahhahhahahah ahahhahahahh ahahahahweewahahahahsahwahehah

....*sigh* yes...

Yeah mutha fucka!

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 18:08:04 GMT

http://forumopolis.com/showthread.php?t=27372

Voice Post: I'm a girly girl and I'm ok with that

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 08:36:31 GMT

I've said it before...

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 05:42:16 GMT

...and I'll say it again. Trilemma is the fucking shit!
I love him so much.
He's my super hero!!!

The reason this time is b/c he sent me a birthday present in the mail...
He sent me an external hard drive for my laptop!
Eeeeeeeeeee!
I'm so excited....I haven't hooked it up yet, I've been kind of busy with stuffs lately.
But I will soon.
When I'm not so tired.

Also, I had a big day today.
I hung out with Sofia and Tattoo Boy all day today.
We played outside with bubbles, it was really cute. I should have taken pictures but I forgot.
Then we went to Gatti Town. This pizza place that has lots of fun games.
We stuffed ourselves then rode the carousel twice.
Then I took Sofia home for a nap time, and Tattoo Boy and I had coffee and talked.
It was really nice.
Then I got Sofia again and we went to the grocery store and I made dinner for Tattoo Boy and his roommate.
Tattoo Boy is really good with Sofia.
She was only fussy once today...I'm so proud.
Usually if we're out that long she gets really cranky but she was so good.
And except for the fact that hes trying to teach her to pick her nose, hes really good with her.

All in all, it was a fun and tiring day.
^_^
I can't wait to have more days like this.

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 19:17:10 GMT

Tattoo Boy tried to surprise me the other day...but his mom kind of ruined the surprise.
But thats ok, b/c it was cute to see him acting all "Shhh, its a secret!!"

So the surprise was that he got me a kitty kitty! =^___^=
Yay for kitties!
I'm so excited. And since I can't take the kitty to my parents (b/c they don't like cats), and I'm over at Tattoo Boy's place all the time anyway...He said that kitty can stay here.
YAY!

So I named the kitty Nazi, pronouced Naz-eee...
I got it from that King of the Hill episode, the one where Cotton has a baby and he talks to it in a cutesy baby voice and says,
"You wanna kill a Nazzii, a Nazzii sqwazzii sqwazzii...."
I love saying that, hehe.
Anyway the episode was on when I came to see the kitty and got to name it, so thats what I named him. Nazi!
^__^

At any rate....here are pics of Tattoo Boy, Nazi and me...

Heeee...

Yay! Ok the end... =^___^=

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 23:00:28 GMT

I made crepes for Tattoo Boy for his birthday.
Actually I made a whole dinner and he says that he loved it, but I have my doubts.

For the entree I made a shrimp pasta, with angel hair.
And caramel crepes for dessert.
It was yummy but I think it could have been better.
I came over to his house today and the first thing him and his roommate asked is if I could make some more. =P
I told them I would, but I'm being lazy and on the computer right now.

At any rate, here are pics of us eating wonderful delicious crepes:
Enjoy!

....bleh pics of me suuuuuuuuck...

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 15:59:52 GMT

Yeah Bitches!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMvzboSx4Yw&search=lazytown

*dances*

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 06:27:08 GMT

So I have some news...
...just in case you guys were interested...

I have a boyfriend...

That is all...thank you.

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 02:57:46 GMT

Things I got for my birthday...

A really cool necklace with wings: from Leticia.
(will post pics later of it)

A togo coffee mug and two lounge cds: from Chris.
(verah nice)

Diamond earrings: from my parents.
(wtf, I always get soap from them...I was so shocked
and thrilled that they actually remembered my birthday)

Dinner at The Hula Hut: with Tattoo Boy.
(it was really nice...not really the resteraunt but with tattoo boy,
I think I had more fun waiting an hour at the bar just talking with him
than the actual meal ^_^)

Afterwards we rented some movies but we only got a chance to watch one.
MirrorMask...I really enjoyed it.
I think I liked the art work the best...and the music.

My last present I haven't gotten yet but it will be awesome.
It's a free tattoo from Tattoo boy.
I'm not going to tell you guys what it is yet,
I want to post pics of it first.
But trust me it will be awesome.

Also, I was woken up but fifty people calling me to tell me happy birthday.
That never happens. So I was really excited.

All in all, it was a great birthday!
^__^

Tattoo Boy, Don't read this!

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 08:20:34 GMT

So I'm going to tell you the story of Tattoo Boy.
We went to high school together.
My senior year I was dating this guy, named Mack.
Mack was an asshole But I was with him for some reason anyway.
At the time Tattoo Boy really liked me.
And I liked him a lot too, but I didn't want to break up with Mack, b/c I felt bad.
I wish I would have now.

A couple of years later, we caught up together again.
We started hanging out again.
And it went back the way it was before.
He really liked me and I really liked him.
Except this time he had a girlfriend online.
We really wanted each other but he didn't want to break up with her or cheat on her,
so I wrote him a letter.
Saying how much I wanted to be his girl. and such, but if he didn't want to be with me for sure
that I wanted to stop hanging out...so I won't be frusturated.
So we stopped hanging out.

About a month or so ago, I almost literally ran into him downtown.
I was going out drinking with a friend and he was on his lunch break from work.
He works at a tattoo place, hence the name Tattoo Boy.
We have been hanging out since then and its fairly obvious that we still want to be with each other.
But its necessary for us to take things slow, since we are both freshly out of relationships.
(His internet gf moved here to live with him and they broke up not too long ago as well)

At any rate....
Last night I was talking to him, and we were somewhat reminising about things.
He reminded me of the letter I wrote him.
I said I wanted to read it, and he said he still had it.
He pulled it out of his top drawer in his dresser.
I was shocked....he still had this letter, after four years.
And we were never officially in a relationship.
I still can't believe it!
I was so stunned and overjoyed that he would think of me in such a way
that it would be important for him to keep this letter for four years.

So now, I still am not quite sure where we stand. but yes this is the story of Tattoo Boy and I...
Hopefully it will continue to grow into something special.

He is supposed to take me out for dinner later this evening for my birthday.
So I need to find something flattering to wear and perhaps get some sleep.

For the first time in a long time I'm going to bed in the best mood ever.

Thanks for listening to me ramble....and be all gushy. ^_^

Well, I was in a good mood....

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 16:14:15 GMT

...not anymore though.
Thats what I get when I read things that I shouldn't....

Voice Post

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 07:13:16 GMT

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 14:00:58 GMT

I think today is actually going to be a good day! ^_^

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 05:16:32 GMT

so tired....
work work work and no money to show for it...
I can't wait for things to get better....
it seems like its going to take forever.....
bleh.